"The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it."

"Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones."

"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim."

"When he followed the instincts which God had transmitted to him from his ancestry of beasts of prey, he called it sin and asked God to forgive him."

"The wise man thinks about his troubles only when there is some purpose in doing so; at other times he thinks about others things."

"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf."

"Life is hard. After all, it kills you."

"Ye cannot serve God and Mammon."

"Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it."

"Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you."

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."

"I don't wear a watch. How do I know my time? I find that someone will always tell me."